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Issue 4:1 I Poetry I Lisa Parker
At the
Edge of the Family, I Favor Her
for
Lindsay Paige
Because she is always covering something,
her body with tattoos and piercings, her mouth
when she laughs, her ears when she thinks no one
is watching and she aches for silence outside
this noisy family.
Because I have seen her sway, eyes closed,
in the back lawn to Grandma’s radio leaking country classics
out the kitchen window, propped open to air the heat,
because she would deny dancing to that music,
adamantly, deny dancing at all, moving her body in a
fashion
so predictable to music so hick, so us.
Because she sits close to me at these family
functions,
her long fingers rubbing nervously against each other,
stilling when I lace them between my own.
Because she is seventeen and it has somehow come to her
that she is a lesser version of this swarm
of well-meaning, judging people.
I hold her close to me when she allows it,
trace the butterfly inked into the back of her neck,
tell her she is lovely, unique, tell her
I have seen her dance, barefoot in the summer grass,
that the sway of her hips, her arms above her
head
are so graceful, she is fine and white as the egrets
we watched together at the pond’s edge
when she was small enough for my lap. I tell her
she is such a sight to behold
I cannot hear the music.
Picture of Old Mountain Woman with Frail-Looking Boy
I.
She
swore by the prickly-ash trees
for
their easy cure of tooth ache,
showed
him the soft, translucent dots
on
leaves she ran across the back of his hand,
as if
touching them would commit them
to his memory,
would guarantee the passing
from her
generation to his.
II.
The
explosions were like shotgun fire,
wrecking
the silence of dire winter
and he
pressed himself to her side, scratch
of wool
that she held him against, though one hand
pressed
flat to his back, pushed him forward
toward
the destruction, the other hand,
waxy
smooth fingers tracing the veins in his palm
as she
told him how when sap rose in maples
and
poplars, it sometimes froze, exploding
the
tree, imbedding splinters in oaks nearby.
III.
Her mind
is old now, one tree blending
into the
next and he takes his place
at her
side, reminds her which leaves or bark
bring
down fever, which ones a cough.
But
those days will always be
about
his easy flinching
and the
way she pushed him with sure hands
over
ground covered in pieces of wood, things
brought
down from the inside.
Bloodroot
I.
He has
rolled away from me
in
sleep, though the heat still moves
between
our bodies. His skin
will
keep this flush for hours.
I have
watched it before, this slow
fade of
color, like the last bit of anger
giving
back the tempered flesh.
My
forefinger against his wide,
Slavic
cheek, eyes moving beneath lids,
his
mouth drops open slightly, closes
again. I want to put my hand there,
his
mouth, keep it from rolling angry
words
into the next tirade when this flush
has gone
and we are again only
two
people at odds over every thing
but this
heat between us.
A red
welt beneath his ear,
where,
at the curve of neck,
I have
marked him, and I cannot
recall
how much of that was passion,
how much
anger. I touch my lips
to that
spot, feel the blood beneath raised skin,
the heat
of it. His breath catches.
II.
Grandma
called it sweet slumber, that juice
she
squeezed from stem to drop onto sugar cubes,
slip
into our mouths to quell a hard cough.
Sanguinaria.
Bloodroot.
Reddish-orange
fluid leaked
from
broken stems that looked for all the world
like
bleeding, thin fingers;
crooked,
bent, pointing.
III.
As a child, I took the dare of older cousins,
broke
the root, tore stem from scalloped leaves,
white,
star-like blossoms, touched
seeping
red to the tip of my tongue.
There
are things in the forest
that
will kill you with ease,
give you
only the slightest, tart
warning
of toxin and I was sure,
in that
moment when my tongue pulled back
and I
spit, hunkered close to ground,
that
this root was the end of me.
Wrong
season, too close to the last frost,
maybe. You could eat a plant ten different
ways
without
harm, but eat it once
in early
season, once
with the
wrong time budding
and it
might take your breath from you,
your
sight, the feeling in your hands and feet.
I rolled
against crunching leaves on the slope
of
mountain, spitting wildly, vaguely aware
that
Grandma had come to the commotion,
taken
the root from the boys,
laughed.
When she
lifted me to her shoulder
and
said, They’s a reason I cut it with
sugar,
I
relaxed into the ease of her voice, the sway
as she
shifted her weight one leg to the other.
IV.
He turns
his head toward me now,
eyes
opening. I want to remember them
like
this – brown as chicory and soft
with
sleep, without question.
I take
my fill quickly, memorize
flecks
of gold and green in dark brown,
roll
away from him, close my eyes,
and
think of that day on the mountain -
Grandma
balancing me on the point of her hip,
lifting
my face to whisper,
Never take
nothing to your mouth you ain’t tamed yet.
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